From the Archives: Pacifiers – A no-tear “Phase out” Solution

February 4th, 2010

(originally posted July 2008)

First-time moms often wonder if they should try pacifiers at all.  Both my babies loved pacifiers, and we found them so helpful for soothing baby when we couldn’t be near (in the car) or when we were trying to teach baby to self soothe (fall asleep without being rocked/held/nursed).  Yet, we had no trouble at all phasing out the pacifier.  This was not because my babies were ready to move on. 

We stopped using the pacifier at 12 months with both of my children.  At the time, they still loved the paci, but we had limited pacifier use to sleepytimes and car rides.  I suggest that you start trying to limit pacifier use and frequency around 4-6 months when the sucking urge is starting to diminish.  And, from the beginning, only offer the pacifier when other methods of soothing (rocking, talking, playing) are not working or are impractical, such as in the car.  At 12 months, you’ll have a child who does depend upon the pacifier to go to sleep and settle down.  But, the secret is, that your child is ready to move on.  He just needs your help.

My super-easy, totally awesome trick for ditching that pacifier at 12 months… Take one pacifier and cut off the tip of the nipple.  Leave a bit of the nipple “trunk”.  Just use scissors to cut off the tip.  Put all of the other pacifiers away where your child will not find them.  Now, give this chopped pacifier to your child when you’re ready to go cold turkey.  Baby will pop it in and then give it a suck, only it won’t “work”.  It just doesn’t suck the same, though it feels pretty much the same to baby’s mouth.  Most babies will take it back out and look at it.  Put it back in.  Fuss a little, but as if to say “what’s going on here?”  The beauty of this moment is that the child does not feel that you withheld anything.  Mommy is not to blame, it’s the pacifier that’s not working. 

Both of my children fussed and cried a little bit the first time I gave them the chopped pacifier.  They were frustrated, not distraught or emotionally affected.  Continue to offer the chopped pacifier at appropriate moments (next naptime, car ride, etc).  After offering this “broken” pacifier 2-4 times, your baby will not want it.  She may even it hand it back to you!  On day 2 or 3 of operation “Phase-out Pacifier” do not offer the pacifier at all at a critical moment.  See what happens.  If you’ve succeeded, your child will not even notice.  With both of my children, we transitioned from pacifier-dependent to totally pacifier free in 2 days, with no traumatic upsets for baby or mommy! 

Note: I began to incorporate “lovey” blankets into my babies’ sleep routines at around 6 months old.  By the time they reached 12 months, they had some affection for the blanket.  I believe that allowing them to maintain the lovey blanket at sleepytimes made it much easier for them to phase out the pacifier.  Now, my 3 1/2-year-old still sleeps with her lovey.  I certainly have no plans to phase out the blankie.  I mean, if she still wants to bring it to sleepovers when she’s 6, that’s her choice!  

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Flouride – A Good Chemical Additive?

February 2nd, 2010

Somewhere along the way, you might notice that health food stores abound in flouride-free toothpastes.  Ever wonder why people are going to the trouble of avoiding flouride, while the government is deliberately adding it to the public water supply?  Hmm…

A little skeptical research yields some concerning information.  There is such a thing as flouride poisoning.  Flouride is a hazardous chemical waste product which big manufacturers must properly dispose.  Proper disposal includes shipping the chemical to water treatment facilities.  Most European countries do not flouridate their drinking water or their toothpaste.  Many studies show that flouride does NOT prevent cavities. 

I admit that I’m more likely to trust nature than big business, but I’m not the only one who says “no” to flouride treatment at the dentist.  We also use flouride-free toothpaste (Tom’s of Maine makes several) and drink unflouridated well water. 

Want to know how flouride found it’s way to the American water supply and why Europeans aren’t following suit?  Watch this interview with the author of The Flouride Deception.

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Work in Progress from Sew Liberated

January 31st, 2010

Come, take a peak at a project I’m working on, inspired by “Sew Liberated:  20 Stylish Products for the Modern Sewist” by Meg McElwee!  Meg’s book is a gorgeous introduction to the art of applique – sewing fabric patches or shapes onto a background fabric.  Her directions are clear, detailed and accompanied by great pictures.  She even gives specific recommendations for sourcing unusual supplies.

I am a newbie to both applique and embroidery.  Meg’s excellent how-to primer at the back of the book, enabled me to use both skills with ease and utmost enjoyment on my latest project:  Panel Curtains for Aria’s room.  Take a look at Meg’s design for “Woodland Curtains” straight out of Sew Liberated: 

I love everything about these panel curtains – the use of 2 background fabrics, the ribbon used as a dividing line and as curtain tabs and the applique design.  My daughter’s old curtains were made of a bold stripe fabric from Ikea.  I decided to use the stripe as the upper fabric and some solid pink I had on hand for the lower third.  Since I didn’t have enough pink fabric, I chose to add a natural linen rectangle in the center of the lower third portion of the curtain.  That natural linen serves as a perfect background for applique.  With a few quarter yards of dot and stripe Lecien prints for the applique pieces, I had my fabric pool:

Now I LOVE Meg’s squirrel, but I felt it would add just one more design element into my daughter’s not-so-pulled-together room.  One night as I sat in Aria’s room, mulling this over, I realized I could take pictures of some designs already in her room and then print them out to use as applique patterns!  I’m sure this is not a new idea, but I have to say it makes it so easy!  I took the bird from Jellybean Tree, which hangs above her dresser, and a flower motif from her lamp. Before printing, I used photoshop to create several sizes of the flower motif.

Next came the best part – using fusible web (thanks to Sew Liberated) to cut out the applique pieces from my fabric stack.  Fusible web sticks to the wrong side of your fabric, to stabilize and make cutting small shapes a breeze.  Then you simply place the pieces onto your background fabric and iron to fuse them in place.  You can add decorative stitching… or not.  I chose to make the bird applique without fusible web, using the raw edge applique method.  Fusible web does add a stiffness to your work, which might interfere with the drape of the curtains if used on the large bird shape.  Thanks for that tip, Miranda!

 

So fun!  Lastly, I used some newly learned embroidery stitches also from Sew Liberated to add simple lines to my picture.  And, let me tell you, embroidery is a great way to pass the time in the car or while watching TV.  So mindless and so very satisfying.  I used a chain stitch for the ground line and a stem stitch for the stems.  Do you think I should add leaves?  I like the simple/modern look of the design now, but wonder about adding leaves…

Now I just need to finish up my second linen panel for the opposite curtain and then do the final piecing together with the solid pink and bold stripe portions.  I found some natural linen ribbon for the dividing line and curtain tabs.  I’ll have to update this post when it’s all put together!

If you’re interested in seeing more from Sew Liberated, check out Meg’s website and blog, where you can see a detailed preview of the book, including the forest scene framed clock that I’m also working on!  My thanks to Meg’s publisher for my own copy.

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My Easy, Cheap, Eco-Friendly Skin Care Regimen

January 29th, 2010

A year and a half ago, I ditched traditional skin care products (cleanser, toner, moisturizer, scrub, mask) for the oil cleansing method.  All this time later, I’m still loving the simplicity of this approach.  I massage the oil mixture into my face during my daily shower, and gently remove it with a hot wash cloth.  Done!  And sometimes I skip a day when I’m not wearing makeup. 

If you don’t know what in the world I’m talking about, read my post Cleaning your face with… OIL for simple directions. 

Besides simplifying my life, the oil cleansing method is definitely saving me money.  That first bottle of sunflower oil lasted for a year.  I’m still using the original bottle of castor oil.  As such, this facial skin care regime costs me about $15 a year… a YEAR!  As a bonus, I know exactly what I’m putting on my skin (no chemicals here!) and I’m eliminating the waste typically generated by multiple little plastic bottles of a multi-part skin care solution. 

So, how’s it working?  My skin has always been blemish-prone.  I’ve noticed no worsening breakouts and a slight improvement during certain times of the month over and above my old Kiss My Face products.  During the moist, humid summer, my face requires no moisturizer at all with the oil cleansing method.  Since I’m not stripping my skin with a chemical or soap-based cleanser, my natural oil production is balanced (hurray!!!) and sufficient.  This is a HUGE improvement, since I’ve always had combination skin that’s oily and flaky.  During the winter, I apply a tiny bit of 100% sunflower oil or Weleda’s Lavender Oil (for a treat!) to my skin post-cleansing when needed.  I still like to use a scrub about once a week just because it feels good.  After I used up my store-bought scrub, I switched to baking soda – wonderful, versatile baking soda.  I keep both the baking soda and the oil cleansing solution (25% castor oil/75% sunflower oil) in little glass spice jars in the shower.  So simple.  So pure.  So cheap!

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Simplicity Parenting

January 27th, 2010

I just finished a great read by Kim John Payne titled “Simplicity Parenting:  Using the Extraodinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kids.”  The book is clear and to the point – why would you want to simplify (briefly) and how do you do it in all areas of your child’s life (practical and doable advice).  It’s addressed to today’s average, mainstream parent with children from toddlers to teens.  The author’s career as a school counselor and private family counselor lend real life stories and credibility to his advice.  His background in Waldorf education will be obvious only to those who are fans of the Waldorf lifestyle.

“When you simplify a child’s ‘world,’ you prepare the way for positive change and growth.  This preparatory work is especially important now because our world is characterized by too much stuff.  We are building our daily lives, and our families, on the four pillars of too much:  too much stuff, too many choices, too much information, and too much speed.  With this level of busyness, distractions, time pressure, and clutter (mental and physical), children are robbed of the time and ease they need to explore their worlds and their emerging self” (pg 5). 

Payne’s book is not at all “doom and gloom.”  He encourages parents to get started with what seems most doable.  I loved his chapter on simplifying the child’s environment, which is primarily the child’s room.  His “10-Point Checklist of Toys Without ‘Staying Power’” helps you identify toys you may want to eliminate and why.  Neither is he judgemental.  I imagine parents of all walks of life would be inspired!  The book covers how to simplify in terms of environment (toys, clothes, home decor), rhythm (focus on family meals and bedtimes), schedules (seeking balance, especially as per extracurricular activities and sports), and information (filtering out the adult world).  I found “Simplicity Parenting” to be a refreshing reminder of how to pursue a simple family culture that nourishes us all.  Anyone else working on simplification?

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Crafting for Young Kids – Books & Blogs

January 24th, 2010

What do you do with little kids on a cold, rainy day in January? Break out the art project! Maybe arts and crafts aren’t your fortay or your “I’m not creative” paralysis has you avoiding the whole subject. Never fear. There is such a wealth of ideas and inspiration out there that, whatever your personal style, you can be faciliating creative fun in no time.

Great Kid’s Craft Blogs

My go-to source of inspiration is The Crafty Crow, a “Childrens Craft Collective” blog.  Author Bella Dia scours the internet for kids art and craft ideas and presents them by theme.  Crafty Crow projects are often seasonal, sometimes recycled and always varied.  She pulls from all types of blogs, so that projects will appeal to the full gamut of parenting styles.  During December, she mixed it up a bit with a “Book & Activity Advent”.  Each day presented a wintertime story along with a fun project.  Good stuff.

The Artful Parentis another favorite blog of mine, this one witha much more personal feel.  The author, Jean, has an art background, which features prominently in the way that she and her daughter Maia spend their time.  From time to time, Jean hosts an art playgroup, which gives readers a peak into how a variety of age groups will approach the same project.  With a new baby in tow, Jean has not been posting as much as of late.  For a feel of what she usually offers, see Jean’s Artsy Ideas to Get You Started. 

Whenever I find art projects online that I’d like to do someday with the kids, I copy the link to my digital notepad titled “Fun Art Projects”.  Creative, I know.  Later on down the road, the title of these projects gets placed into our “art jar”.  Every other Friday, at playgroup, one excited little child gets to choose a project from the art jar for our group.   This actually helps me because I get stuck unable to decide which fabulous project to do!  The jar forces helps me commit to having materials ready and helps us get to the seasonal projects in time. 

Great Kid’s Craft Books

“Scribble Art” by MaryAnn Kohl.  This is a fantastic art activity resource that draws on basic household supplies (glue, salt, flour, crayons) to open up a world of creative possibility.  MaryAnn Kohl has written many popular kids art books celebrating the process, not the product of the art experience.  “Scribble Art” is one of her best.  It is available at our library, but we hope to have our own copy someday.  Her “First Art” is a better choice for those 2 and under.

“Crafting Fun” by Rae Grant.  As opposed to an art experience book, Grant’s “Crafting Fun” is about fun  “Things to Do & Make with Kids.”  Many of the included craft projects have stood the test of time and aren’t “new” at all.  But, having the book on hand is a great source of inspiration (and of “how-to” when mama doesn’t remember how to make a paper snowflake). 

“My First Sewing Book” by Winky Cherry:  Step by step how-to hand sew with tons of pictures and fun rhyming text.  My daughter received this for her 5th birthday, and has really taken off with sewing since then.  It helped her master basic skills so she can take on projects independently.  Woohoo!

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A Quick Reader Survey… for YOU!

January 22nd, 2010

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Tell Congress We Need Chemical Reform

January 21st, 2010

If you’re sick of learning that products in your home contain chemicals that are a threat to your family’s health, speak up on behalf of chemical reform by adding your name to the Safer Chemicals Healthy Families campaign.  The link will bring you to a detailed letter that you can send to your representative by filling out your name and address.  It’s quite easy.

I came across this link via Healthy Child Healthy World’s latest blog post “Memo to Congress: Want to Know How to Save the Country $5 Billion?”  The author makes a case for the tremendous savings to our health care system, should our government give the EPA the tools they need to put common sense limits on toxic chemicals in every day products.  You can read all about the problem in the Safer Chemicals Healthy Families health report, but the bottom line is that our regulatory law is woefully outdated (as in 1976) and pretty much useless.  It’s time we stop poisoning ourselves with “cheap” chemicals that cost us seven times over in health care expenses and, more importantly, in preventable human suffering.

Please add your support!

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Mama’s Computer Addiction

January 19th, 2010

On the heels of my posts for “How to Go TV-Free for your Kids” I want to say a few words about screens that monopolize parents’ time.  In today’s culture staying connected via the Internet is fast becoming an addiction that everyone shares.  The Internet has much to offer from online shopping (less errands with the kids!) to blogging.  It is an endless source of inspiration for me, personally, as a mom and as a crafter.

But, it can get in the way.  Using the computer disconnects a person from children or spouses nearbye and reconnects their focus in a powerful way.  Children instinctually feel your withdrawel. 

I made myself a rule: the computer is off when the kids are awake. That said, my two children do take an hour long rest time midday, which gives me a mental break and allows me to check my email.  I came to this hard and fast rule when I decided to stop allowing my then 4 year old to play computer games.  I realized that I needed to be an example to her, choosing to connect and live life, rather than dream it away online.

I find that if I try to do something quickly online while they’re awake, I just get irritated when they interrupt me.  They immediately seem to “need” me when I sit down in front of the computer.  I feel they can sense that I’ve “left the house” so to speak, and they want me back! And, yes, I get more done and have more fun with them too, by following this rule. Since my kids go to sleep at 7pm, I still have lots of time to catch up and connect after bedtime.

It’s been a year now since I adopted this rule.  I no longer feel the urge to check my email at random times during the day, which is a welcome change. I feel much more fully present with my kids, enjoying the “now” of our days.  I’ve also noticed that I’m using the computer less and less during “sanctioned” times.  I used to go to the computer like clockwork as soon as the children were tucked away.  Now I often ask myself, “Do I really want to check email/blogs, or would I rather sew, read, shower, talk to my husband, etc.”  More often now, when I take the time to think about it, I do choose something else.  And, it feels good!

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From the Archives: My First Baby Registry

January 17th, 2010

My First Baby Registry – the Revised Version

(originally posted January 2008)

I’m so excited for my best friend who is pregnant with her first baby!  Talking with her has me thinking about how overwhelming it was to create that first baby registry.  There were so many choices and so many products.  My second baby is now almost one (shock, gasp, sniffle) so I feel that I’ve earned the right to give a little advice on making a baby registry.  Here’s my list of what I wish I hadn’t registered for, what would have been a better choice, and why:

  1. Conventional crib mattress Organic, Non-toxic crib mattress – the concoction of chemicals emitted from vinyl crib mattresses is ridiculously unhealthy for developing little bodies.  And baby spends so much time sleeping on that mattress!  Ditto on the organic mattress protector, since conventional ones are made with vinyl.
  2. Baby sling & Bjorn front carrier Beco Baby Carrier – would have been the only carrier I would have needed from birth to age 3+.  Also would have been more comfortable.  I never did like the sling because of how it swings away from the body.
  3. Disposable diapers BumGenius Cloth Diapers – there’s no area in which we wasted more money or dealt with more unnecessary trouble than in this one.  All that money in the trash and all those messy disposable diaper explosions could have been avoided.
  4. Avent baby bottles/pacifiers Safe BPA-Free Bottles/Pacifiers – at the time I was completely unaware of these concerns.  Now I would never think twice about spending extra money on safer feeding and soothing choices.
  5. BoppyAny other Nursing Pillow – I have found the Boppy to be the least helpful pillow for breastfeeding.  The rounded surface is all wrong!  Look for a nursing pillow that is flat on top so you’re not constantly repositioning baby.  
  6. Gerber Baby Body Care Natural, higher-end Baby Products – one bottle of baby wash, shampoo, lotion, etc. will probably last you the entire first year or longer.  If I had known, I would have splurged on some nicer products.
  7. Conventional Receiving Blankets Large Swaddling Blankets - typical receiving blankets are only large enough to wrap a newborn.  I swaddle my babies throughout their first year as a sleep cue.  Um, I needed some bigger blankets!
  8. Extra Bottles for Freezing MilkGlass storage or milk freezing trays – I’d feel best about freezing extra breastmilk in glass containers for health reasons, but another good option would have been Fresh Milk trays.  It’s nice to freeze in super-small portions so that you don’t have to defrost more milk than you need.
  9. Infant gowns Footed Sleepers – many parents love gowns for easy changing access.  We hated them because we felt they were too drafty for our winter babies.  When it comes to baby clothes it’s wise to save receipts and hold off on washing everything until you see what you prefer to use. 
  10. Zooper highchair Wooden Highchair - at the time I couldn’t imagine spending as much on a high chair as popular wooden models demanded.  Now there are many affordable versions.  Wooden highchairs are easier to clean, fit better with modern decor, and are a safer food surface too.  You’ll be looking at that highchair a LOT!

It’s definitely true that my revised baby registry would have been more spendy than my original one.  At the time, my husband and I were shocked by the costs of gearing up for baby.  If you’re in a similar situation I suggest you look into getting your first-choice items secondhand through consignment stores or eBay.  You will probably find products in wonderful condition that end up costing you just as much or even less than those second-rate items you might have compromised for brand new. 

Happy shopping!

*It’s no accident that many of the things on the revised registry are now offerred in our baby store.  It was precisely this type of thinking that led our family business to expand from our maternity store to a natural baby boutique. 

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