I recently exchanged a series of emails with an old friend, a mother, who is going through a big transition right now. She senses her 3-year-old’s need for more time with her. She wants to work less, but is pursuing more education in her chosen career. A familiar, conflict, right? She said, “I need to take lessons from you…you seem to have such a nice balance. How do you do it!!! Tell me your secrets 
” So, on the heels of a post recognizing I was “Out of Balance“, I’ll share my email to her:
Balance is the key, isn’t it. On the one hand, I enjoy and value my personal pursuits (Euphoria, sewing, socializing with friends, dancing); on the other hand, I feel strongly that my role as a mother is the most critical one right now. If I could, I would not work at all. At all. A “career” is something I don’t value in it’s own right. What I do doesn’t make who I am. In terms of personal fulfillment, I feel that a business is something I can do later, like the ballet school you think of opening again someday.
Motherhood, on the other hand, doesn’t wait for anyone. It’s so precious and so fleeting. What can be more worthwhile than loving and shaping a new person to go out and make their mark on our world? I haven’t found anything more fulfilling than those little moments when I am perfectly present with my children – reading aloud book, watching them paint, doing some mindless chore while I smile at their pretend game. I believe that this is so for me because I am where God wants me to be. God calls people to different paths, and I am not here to outline the path for someone else. But, for me, I know my work for right now, and it’s in the home.
Unfortunately, our finances do not permit me to stop working. We have and will continue to find ways to simplify our life, to spend less money and to make more of our own. Little by little I do believe we are working towards me working less. In the meantime, I am blessed to have a work I enjoy at Euphoria. To protect my mothering, I set up boundaries between work and home. I don’t take business calls just anytime at home. I don’t do Euphoria emails or blogging unless I am at work. To protect my mothering, I also set up boundaries between “my time” and home. I don’t do computer (facebook/email/blogging) until my children are in rest time or in bed. Being with the computer is being absent to my children. They feel the withdrawal and try to pull me back, rather through little requests or bickering. It’s not worth it for either of us.
How am I able to balance it all? Besides being very conscientous about what I am doing and where I am supposed to be, I have rhthyms of support. Little things, like a daily “rest time” where the children spend an hour in their room, a weekly laundry day, bi-weekly playdate and meals planned in advance (with grocery shopping) every Sunday help our life flow smoothly. When everyone knows what to expect (myself included), we can just get on with our day. Another tremendous aid is the help of loved ones who live nearbye. When I am working, my mother, mother-in-law or best friend have my children. They are still being mothered. They don’t return to me feeling empty. I know life would be incredibly different if I didn’t have this support. In my opinion, many modern mothers don’t value the importance of real community in parenting highly enough.
One last thing, I do invest time in myself. Taking ballet class once a week is like yoga or meditation for my soul. Such a release – so refreshing! I aim to spend time with God everyday. And, I do something creative nearly every night. All that stitching has the pleasant effect of resulting in something beautiful that I can be proud of and giving me a social outlet that can wait until after bedtime, and doesn’t even remove me from the home. Lately I’ve started leading a charity sewing bee through Flickr. Being able to give back with this pleasurable craft is the icing on top of my late night cake 
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Well, I do hope that some of this might be helpful. Again, this is my path, my balancing beam and I don’t push it on any other. Take with you what may enlighten your way, and leave the rest.
Blessings,
Rachel Natasha
When I was pregnant for the first time, I thought a moses basket was a definite luxury. They’re so pretty, so sweet… aren’t they more for looks than anything else? After baby was born I could see soon enough the benefits of a movable bed. Not just in the house or in the garden, but able to come to grandmother’s house as well. A familiar bed just makes everything easier.
